Bird nesting parenting primarily refers to a type of shared parenting arrangement. It involves a child or children staying full-time in a family home while the separated or divorced parents will take turns staying in the house with them. In the context of biology, it refers to the process of birds building their home to lay their eggs and raise their young.
This type of custody arrangement is named after birds and how the parents will take time coming and going from the nest to care for their young.
How Does Bird Nesting Work?
Bird’s nest custody works when the child or children of separated or divorced parents reside in the family home while their parents take turns living in the home and overseeing day-to-day raising of the children. With this custody schedule, when the parent is not staying with the child or children, they will live in their own separate home.
This type of arrangement can make it easier for the children to adjust to the separation or divorce because they will not have to split their time between two different homes. The arrangement is often used as a short-term living situation while the children adjust to their new lives.
What Are Some Advantages and Disadvantages of Bird’s Nest Custody Arrangements?
There are numerous advantages and disadvantages of bird’s nest custody arrangements, both for the parents and the children involved.
Advantages
This arrangement can reduce stress and disruptions for children because it allows them to keep their familiar routines, schools, and rooms during the divorce. It can provide stability by allowing them to remain in a familiar environment.
Bird nesting can also provide an emotional buffer, which gives the children time to process the separation of their parents before adjusting to having to live in multiple homes. The parents can share the load of maintaining the home as well as take their time deciding on their family’s new long-term living arrangements.
Disadvantages
This arrangement can require extensive cooperation between ex-partners. It can also require them to maintain up to three separate housing locations, which can be expensive.
There can be the potential for conflict related to sharing a living space, such as chores and cleanliness issues related to maintaining the home. This type of living arrangement may also send mixed signals to the children, who may believe that their parents will get back together, or it may keep the adults themselves from moving forward.
How Does Bird Nesting Compare to Other Custody Arrangements?
There are multiple types of custody arrangements parents can use, including bird nesting, such as sole custody, joint custody, and split custody.
Sole Custody
In a sole custody arrangement, only one parent has custody for most of the time. The child’s other parent may have visitation rights. This type of arrangement is not preferred unless evidence shows that it is what is in the child’s best interests.
Joint Custody
With joint custody, parents share decision-making and child-raising responsibilities. This arrangement is typically considered to be in a child’s best interests, as it preserves their relationship with both parents.
In this arrangement, there will typically be a designated custodial parent, who takes care of the majority of the child’s day-to-day care. This is also the parent with whom the child typically resides most of the time.
Split Custody
With a split custody arrangement, or 50/50 arrangement, both of a child’s parents have equal rights. This is more of a rare arrangement where neither parent is designated the primary custodial parent.
An attorney can answer any questions an individual may have about any type of custody arrangement, such as bird nesting or even shared custody versus joint custody, as well as custody issues related to same-sex parenting.
How Can I Get a Bird Nesting Arrangement Approved?
If parents want to get a bird nesting custody arrangement approved by a family court, they will need to submit a written parenting plan to the proper family court showing that the arrangement will be in the best interests of the child. Typically, a court will not order bird nesting as a custody arrangement on its own, but may approve the arrangement if the parents request it in a unified and well-detailed agreement.
The bird nesting parenting plan should outline parenting time guidelines, such as what days each parent will live in the home, what times custody will switch, and how the parents will handle the swaps. The agreement should also outline who will pay which bills, such as the mortgage or rent, utilities, and other expenses.
An agreement should also outline how issues such as housekeeping, shared items, and new partners should be managed. Additionally, the agreement should also outline a timeline or triggering event for transitioning out of the nest.
The bird nesting custody agreement can be attached to the formal custody agreement or parenting plan paperwork and submitted to the court during divorce or custody proceedings. The court will then make a determination based on the child’s best interests, not on the parents’ preferences.
Courts often accept child custody orders that are presented by both parents together, as long as it is in the child’s best interests. Parents can also use mediation with a neutral third-party mediator to help them come to an agreement on their child custody arrangement that works for both of them.
Can I Change Out of a Bird Nesting Arrangement Later?
Yes, parents can change out of a bird nesting parenting arrangement at a later time. It is common for this type of arrangement to be a temporary or short-term arrangement in order to help children adjust to their parents’ separation before transitioning into two separate homes.
If a bird nest custody agreement is part of a court-approved legal separation agreement or custody order, a parent will need to request a modification with the court. The parents file a mutual request or can attend mediation to help them come to an agreement to submit to the court.
How Can an Attorney Help Me With a Bird Nesting Plan?
A lawyer can help parents who are wondering how to co-parent with a bird nesting plan by drafting the co-parenting agreement, addressing all of the necessary concerns, such as financial issues and shared home responsibilities, outlining boundaries for the parties, and including a clear timeline for when the bird nest arrangement will end. An attorney will ensure the agreement meets all of the requirements for the state and is properly submitted to the court.
An individual may want to consider discussing the following issues with their lawyer to include in their agreement:
- Who will pay the mortgage or rent, property taxes, and utilities
- Who will pay for the groceries
- Rules for chores and home repairs
- Putting protections in place if one of the parents does not pay a shared bill
- The specific dates and times parents will change shifts
- Where the parent will stay when they are not in the nest
- Outline boundaries for visitors, dating, and having new partners in the nest
- Having a trigger event or end date for the nesting time period
- Ensuring the arrangement does not impact child support or custody rights of a parent
- Including clear steps on selling the home or transitioning to separate homes at a later time
Should I Hire a Lawyer for Help with Bird Nesting Legal Issues?
Yes, it can be very helpful to hire an attorney for assistance with bird nesting legal issues. As discussed above, your family lawyer can help you draft a bird nesting agreement to submit for approval to the court that addresses all of your concerns, which will allow your family to transition during the divorce process.
LegalMatch can help you find a family lawyer in your area who can draft a bird nesting agreement or review an agreement you and your co-parent have already reached. LegalMatch offers no-cost lawyer matching services that you can use in a short time by simply completing the online intake process and being matched to a lawyer in your area.
