Same-sex marriage in the United States is complicated on a legal and practical level, because almost all matters related to family law are governed exclusively by individual states.
The federal government generally has no hand in recognizing the validity of marriages, and defers almost completely to the states on this issue. However, the federal Defense of Marriage Act, passed in 1996, prohibits the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages performed in any state, and makes clear that states do not have to recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states.
Because there are many federal benefits that are dependent on marriage, such as filing joint federal income tax returns, and benefits for the spouses of federal employees, spouses in same-sex marriages are out of luck in this area.
As of October 2009, 4 U.S. states actually perform same-sex marriages: Massachusetts, Vermont, Iowa, and Connecticut. New Hampshire is set to begin performing such marriages on January 1, 2010.
The state legislature in Maine voted to legalize same-sex marriage, but this law has not yet gone into effect, and may be overridden by a so-called “people’s veto,” which will be on the ballot in November of 2009.
After a ruling by the Supreme Court of California, that state began performing same-sex marriages in June of 2008. However, in November of that year, California voters passed an amendment to the state constitution, which banned such unions. Currently, California does not perform same-sex marriages, but those performed before the passage of the constitutional amendment took effect remain valid. Currently, there are approximately 18,000 same-sex couples married under California law.
There are also a few states which do not perform same-sex marriages, but recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states. Currently, New York, Washington D.C., and California (provided they were performed before that state’s ban on recognition of same-sex marriages went into effect) fall into this category.
In addition to this, there are states that do not perform or recognize same-sex marriages, but offer legal unions (called “civil unions” or “domestic partnerships”) which offer some or most of the legal benefits of marriage.
Finally, there are a few states which do not recognize or perform same-sex marriages, but will perform divorces of same-sex couples who married in another state, and have since moved.
As one might imagine from reading all of this, the status of same-sex marriage in the United States is complicated, and is likely to change over the years.
Accordingly, if you face a question about exactly what rights your same-sex union affords to you or your partner in your state, you should consult with a qualified family law attorney.